As I pulled up to the gate of the property my heart raced a little, I started to wonder why I had even signed up for this. I don’t know the first thing about mediation.Would I have to sit on the floor in some death defying yoga like position? Would I have to make chanting noises? Would my roommate snore all night? Would I fall asleep, fall over head first and everyone would look at me with disgust in their eyes? And what about the food… do I even like vegetarian?

It was too late to turn back. I had arrived at a weekend long Mediation retreat filled to the brim with mediation lessons and long periods of silence. At least the grounds of the property were gorgeous. Set in a scout camp we were surrounded by a mountain of lush green trees, with a beach close by and a lagoon that was inhabited by all sorts of bird life. At least gazing out into all that beauty, would keep my mind off the fact that I had no idea of what I was doing!

So, with a deep breath I stepped into the mediation hall, ready to sink or swim in the art of mediating. I needn’t have worried too much. Before the first total silence began we all began nervously chatting to each other. We shyly introduced ourselves, asking the normal questions about family, where we lived and worked before getting to the question everyone wanted answered… “Have you done this before?” With a sigh of relief I found that not only were most people new to Mediation but they were also here by themselves! Oh, what a comfort to know that I wasn’t the only one!

Our teacher was a quietly spoken man who clearly was devoted to his religion, Buddhism. In front of the room, sat a shrine, complete with a shiny gold Buddha. I must admit this was a bit confronting, I hadn’t really though much about this side of the weekend, I had just come to learn how to calm my mind and keep it under control in times of stress, not become a Buddhist! But, as I found out throughout the weekend, while devotees of Buddhism use mediation in their daily life, you don’t have to practice the religion to gain many benefits through mediating. Although, If I was to become a religious person, I think I would pick Buddhism…it has so many practices and beliefs that kinda “sit right” with me.

I found a comfy and “safe” spot in the back row, somewhere I could hide all weekend… well so I thought. When our teacher sat down I found myself looking straight at him, there was no hiding behind anyone but luckily this wasn’t a class room that I was going to be asked a barrage of questions and most of the time everyone, including our teacher, would have their eyes closed trying to focus on their breathing!

And that’s right where my struggles began… focusing on my breathing. My mind wandered from the start. I continuously had to coax it back, constantly trying to visualise the “white smoke coming into my body and the black smoke going out”.That was draining. But I guess that was what I was here for, to slow down my mind to gain focus, and for me that was just going to take time and some effort.

Did Mediation get better for me over the course of the weekend? It sure did. Slowly as each session progressed my mind started to slow down and began to empty. But Meditation was only really one component of the weekend. Hours of silence (not just while in the lessons) formed another major part, one that scared me before I even got there!

How did I, someone who talks to a strangers on the street and is surrounded constantly by noisy five children / young adults, handle being in complete silence from 10pm till 12am? Let alone during the 7 hour long meditation / instruction sessions? I handled it quiet well, if I do say so myself! The times of silence were spent in reflection of what I had learnt, reading my newly purchased meditation book or walking the grounds of our stunning surrounds. In fact the silence was bliss and I wonder why I was so worried about it.

Enjoying our last meal together, out of silence!, we shared with each other what we have taken from the weekend. Some of us where eager to get back home while others where savoring the opportunity to escape the business of their life, for just a little longer. But all of us seemed happy that we had come, to learn the basics of mediation (and Buddhism) and head back to our homes with a sense of hope that this would now be a part of our daily lives.

And what about my intial fears?

Well I found that my most comfortable meditation position was sitting on a chair, not on the floor with my legs twisted in some weird shape. (and that was OK!). No chanting noises were required for me to reach enlightenment (well not yet any way!) My room mate did snore a little, but luckily I was so tired that I was in a coma like state most of the night! The food was absolutely amazing… to my delight they did have black tea (and a coffee pod machine!) not just herbals. And lastly I did fall asleep numerous times during mediation… but apparently so did everyone else!

Do you mediate?

Have you ever been on a retreat?

Safe Travels

Kerrie

My retreat was run by Meditate in Newcastle and was not sponsored or gifted to me. All opinions are my own.

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